Parks Pages dot com

Okay. I didn't want to deal with hate mail, so I posted this anonymously over on Jeff's Gameblog as a comment to his "Political Meme."

Let me put this into gamer context:

REAL LIFE RPG (TM)

Character Creation:

In the Real Life RPG(TM), you roll your character's physical traits and choose the attitudinal ones.

PHYSICAL TRAITS
Attributes
There are six attributes in the RL-RPG: Strength, Dexterity, Health, Willpower, Intelligence, and Perception.

Roll 3d6 for each and assign as desired.

Race (1)
Roll percentage and consult table:
1-68 White
69-83 Hispanic
84-95 African American
96-100 Asian American

Gender (2)
Roll percentage and consult table:
1-51 Female
51-100 Male

Based on your gender, roll your sexual orientation (3):

Female
1-95 Heterosexual
96-100 Homosexual

Male
1-90 Heterosexual
91-100 Homosexual

Comeliness (4)
Roll percentage and consult table:
1-10 Ugly
11-90 Average
91-100 Handsome/Beautiful

ATTITUDINAL TRAITS (5)

Choose the attitudes you want your character to display during the game from the following lists.

Religion
Choose one of the campaign's existing religions, or make up one of your own, taking into account that the prevailing religions will try to suppress competing ones.

Tolerance
• Extremely Bigoted - Your negative opinion on (choose one or more: race/creed/gender/sexual orientation) are inflexible; you base all your attitudes toward any individual on this distinction
• Bigoted - Your negative opinion on (choose one or more: race/creed/gender/sexual orientation) are unlikely to change; you base all your attitudes toward groups on this distinction, though your opinion on an individual may change based on their behavior
• Accepting - You base your opinion on the individual, taking into account the attitudes generally displayed by members of that (choose one or more: race/creed/gender/sexual orientation)
• Very Accepting - You base your opinion on an individual's behavior regardless of their race, creed, gender, or sexual orientation

(1) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Racial_demographics_of_the_United_States#Pr...
(2) http://www.census.gov/Press-Release/www/2001/cb01cn181.html
(3) http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080417160636AAw91WY
(4) Made this up
(5) YOU choose this -- choose wisely